Toss your bathroom scale!
2012
Once upon a time I performed a little experiment on myself: I threw away my bathroom scale.
I should probably back up a little.
Growing up I was one of those people who (at least) daily stepped onto a scale. I couldn’t tell you at what age it started (hopefully not too young), but I can tell you for sure that by the time I was in 9th grade it was daily. Of course that was right around the same time when I really started to worry about my weight.
I was a student in a prestigious ballet conservatory, and as any ballet dancer knows: weight matters. I tried not to worry about it, but I definitely was reminded daily that how much I weighed would be major factor to my success as a “potential” ballerina.
For the most part I’d like to think I had a fairly healthy relationships with my body, all things considering. I still remember the day I had to go into a parent-teacher meeting with my mom and ballet teacher. I was 14 years old. I had just gone through a major growth spurt. I weight around 120 pounds, and at 5’6″ I didn’t see any problems with my weight.
The meeting went well. My teacher told my mom that I had improved more than any other student. She told my mom that I had a future in ballet if I continued the way I was heading and that the only thing holding me back was my weight.
Wait. What?
Yep. This woman told me, as a 14 year old with no weight problem, that I would “really benefit from losing 10 – 15 pounds.”
TEN. TO. FIFTEEN. POUNDS.
Wait… WHAT!?
My mom and I both sat there and graciously nodded our head. (We can be quite diplomatic when we want to. These days I probably wouldn’t be so gracious. Let’s be honest, I’d probably kick her.) As soon as we were out of the building my mom turned to me with a concerned look. ”Soooo…. what did you think about that meeting?” I could tell she was carefully choosing her words, not sure how I had taken this woman’s “advice.” I looked at her, smiled, and said:
“Let’s go get some cake.”
See? I had a pretty good sense about my weight. And while I knew this woman was crazy for her suggestion, and I knew that I didn’t have a weight problem, I also now know that her words planted a little seed inside of me that would turn into a subtle demon that I would have to battle for many years.
The Battle of the scale
From that point on I got on the scale every morning. I couldn’t help it. All of a sudden this ideas was placed in my head: Maybe I do need to lose 10 – 15 pounds. I worried each day when I saw the number go up, relieved the day I saw it go done.
I’ve heard that some experts recommend that you should weigh yourself daily (or at least consistently) if you are trying to lose weight. Maybe that works for some people. But for me, my scale became the master of my self image. I had a specific number that I wanted to be and if I wasn’t there, I didn’t feel up to snuff.
Back to my experiement
During my graduate studies I was doing a lot of reading and research on body image as part of my thesis work. I remember reading article after article about women’s struggles to be a certain weight… to look a certain way. Out of no where, the thought came to me: Get rid of your scale.
And I did.
And it was good.
No, it was great!
It took me a week or two to “let go” of my need to know how much I weighed, but before long I started to notice some amazing things:
- I become more aware of how I felt instead of worrying about some number.
- I started listening to hunger cues instead of worrying that I might gain a pound. (As a result, I probably ate less because the “I-don’t-care-anymore-and-just-want-that-doughnut binges” ceased.)
- I stopped counting calories and started seeking out food my body needed.
- I stopped picking apart every flaw or bulge and started seeing myself as a whole person. And guess what? I felt prettier because of it.
- I felt less obsessive, less controlled by some magical number that really has no meaning to healthy living.
And something else remarkable happened:
I lost weight.
How do I know? Well, contrary to what every diet plan out there tells you, there are other ways to measure improvement besides looking at some number. You can always pay attention to how your clothes fit. You can measure yourself with a tape measure. You can have your body-fat analyzed. Heck, most of us can tell by looking in a mirror or just by the way we feel! (You can also wait until you are pregnant and have to get on a scale. Not that I’d know anything about that.)
But even better than focusing on losing weight, you can instead focus on living a healthy life. Stop worrying about size. Yes, there is such a thing as a “healthy weight” just as there is such a thing as an “unhealthy weight.” But unless there are some major hidden issues, most of us will come to our own version of “healthy weight” when we are living a healthy life. If we focus on nourishment, getting rid of toxins in our life, and staying active we are probably on the right track more so than falling for some sort of fad diet that is trying to shove us into a make-believe perfect number or size.
I mean, there are plenty of unhealthy skinny people out there.
Besides, consider the following image posted over at Everyday Paleo:
Yes, that’s the same woman. And yes, that is her actual weight.
See. The numbers mean nothing. NOTHING.
Do you need to throw your scale out?
Maybe, maybe not. Have you ever:
- set a specific number that you wanted to “be” with regards to your weight even if “being” that number doesn’t feel good?
- waited to weigh yourself first thing in the morning, naked, after going to the bathroom for the “best” results?
- been upset at the numbers on the scale and then avoided certain (or all) foods for a period of time?
- instantly felt uglier when the scale showed that you were up a pound or two from the day before?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you might also benefit from throwing your scale out.
What do you have to lose? Better yet, what do you have to gain? How about letting go of stress and the obsessive worry of seeking out some number? How about empowerment from living real healthy practices based on how you feel? How about a better relationship and connection with your body? How about feeling more beautiful, confident, and FREE?
Sounds good to me.
What about you? Are you a daily scale watcher? What helps you stay on track?
This post is part of Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways and Creative Juice Thursday.
Related posts:
20 comments
Trackback e pingback
-
Infographic: Why you should not count calories
[...] guilt. (Did I really just eat another piece of cake?!). I gained an neurotic obsession with that number of my ...
Robin,
I am falling in love with your blog!!
I really feel like we have led very similar lives, and I sit here and read this and I’m like “Yes! I agree with this! I want to do this!” You are HEALTHY motivation…not the fake photoshopped kind.
In high school I battled HARD with my self image, and hated myself. In college, I swung the complete other direction and tried to take on a “I don’t care about what I eat or exercise or anything” attitude because I was terrified I would go back to my crazy eating habits and self loathing, but I still really didn’t like myself. And then, as cheesy as this sounds, after having my baby, I feel like I have a chance to start over and to rebuild myself from the ground up. I used to think that all this “clean” eating and “green” and “organic” stuff was ridiculously hippie-ish. Now, I am craving the simplistic “back to basics” lifestyle. I want to do this for myself, but also I want to do this for my family. I loved dancing, but I hated what I felt like I had to look like to be a “good dancer.” I want to build good habits and a healthy self image in myself to teach my daughter as she grows. If she wants to dance, cool, but I don’t want her to go through the body image issues I went through. She is the most beautiful thing in the universe, in my opinion, and I want her to think highly of herself as well.
Anyway, this is all pretty random and scattered and may not even really make sense, but I just want to say, please keep the posts coming. I am trying to make life changes bit by bit, with food choices, and exercise, and cleaning my home, and over all health, and this blog is really helping me find the baby steps for my family to move toward that.
Thank you!
Camille
Thanks for your kind words, Camille! I know exactly how you feel about hoping our children don’t have to have the same experiences with regards to their body image. Those beautiful little children sure know how to motivate positive changes.
Hope you are and your family are well!
I too started weighing myself at a very young age. It started out innocent enough, as I actually enjoyed seeing the number go up, indicating I was closer to becoming a “big girl.” There was a scale in my grandparent’s bathroom, and so every time I went in there, I would hop on it. Until one day, a girl called me “Jelly Belly Kelly.” Which, now thinking back was probably just because my name rhymed with those words, not because of my appearance. I took it personally anyway, and my little innocent habit of jumping on my granparents’ scale started to work against me. I started looking forward to getting the flu, to have an excuse to eat very little. The day I reached over 100 lbs was a sad day for me (I never passed 110 in high school, and I still felt pudgy). I wish I could say I have overcome it, as it has been a miner enough part of my life to not do anything drastic or bring attention to the fact I need help, but a big enough deal to give me a self-defeating attitude that I have carried most of my life, but I haven’t overcome this, and I still struggle with it. I am *so* the type of person to wait until morning, go to the bathroom, and nurse my baby before weighing myself… to get the “best” result. When I was in my prime as a dancer, I didn’t have to work much at it, but I still weighed myself pretty regularly. I thought I had gotten over caring so much, because I just didn’t have to for so long. Now that I have had two kids, and I am not dancing on a company, I have to rely on my own motivation to keep it up. Guess what, the feelings came back. But, I am trying to avoid the downward spiral of my self-image, with the yoyo-ing of my weight that happens when I’m obsessed with perfection and that goal weight. Sigh… why is it so hard?
Such a great question: Why is it so hard?
It really is a tough battle and one that I find I go back and forth with. This is why I finally had to get rid of the scale because it was just too easy to step on “just to see” only to be put back into some downward spiral. I wish we could help the dance world out with this. So many dancers struggle, and it’s such a shame.
Thanks for your comment, Kelly.
It’s starting to get better. I haven’t weighed myself since I posted (can’t really throw out the scale, since it’s our wii fit board). I also started working on getting rid of self-defeating thoughts in general, not just related to food/exercise, and replacing them with encouraging thoughts. Getting out of my own way has helped me start back on the road of wellness. Thanks for the reminder that there is a better way! Love your blog!
Awesome! I think getting our thoughts on board is truly the first step. I love this. Thanks, again.
Not owning a scale or really having access to one is the best thing ever. Yes, I’ve so been there. Ditto to your story (and Camille too- yay dancer friends!). I also lost a lot of weight once I got away from caring and checking my weight. I know because I shrunk out of my clothes. When I’m tempted to care about it, cause those thoughts come back sometimes, I remind myself how self-defeating that was in the first place. It’s so liberating!!!
Amen!
This is such a great post! I haven’t the weight loss experience yet, but I expect that the only way it would even be possible for me would be to throw my scale away.
I actually don’t even OWN a scale, and I never have (since moving out and going to college, that is). I used to weigh myself at a family member’s house, or at the doctor’s office, or the gym. But about a year ago I finally realized that scales were a huge trigger for me. They really mess with me.
So I stopped using them.
Good call, Robin!
Thank, K.
I actually found myself getting antsy about it again during my pregnancy because they always made me weigh myself at my appointments. It’s amazing how such a small things can trigger so much.
I love the pucture and can really relate to it. Im 4’11″ and always 107-114 lbs. After my sophmore yea of college and too much bad school food I went to a p90x kind of a class with my dad… by the end of summer I was still my avrage 110lbs but so much leaner and toned, i even looked taller because of how everything redistributed. Got rid of the scale when i moved and now just let the fit of my clothing be my judge.
ops…picture, not pucture
Awesome, Lydia! Thanks for commenting.
Robin, about 6 weeks ago I threw out a lot of things, including our bathroom scale. I hated how those numbers could just send me and my husband backwards. We’ve made some good dietary changes too during this time. Instead we have been measuring our waists once a week. I have lost 3.5 inches and my husband 5 inches since we threw out the scale 6 weeks ago. LOVE not having a scale.
Heather, you have no idea how happy this makes me! Way to go! You guys are awesome. So awesome. Love and miss you.
I have a sister who, at 99lbs and 5’6″, thinks that she is as healthy as can be, and yet has the most severe self-image issues of anyone I know. There is definitely such a thing as an unhealthy skinny person! I was one myself, until it cost me my gallbladder and I suddenly realized that maybe my life needed some drastic changes.
I *do* have a scale, mainly because I was losing weight in the first trimester of my pregnancy and actually needed to keep track of my weight to hopefully help me GAIN, lol. But! That’s a little off topic, and my scale does tend to gather dust otherwise.
This is a great post.
Yikes! That’s scary… and a good point that there’s so much more to health than a number.
Robin,
I just found your website, and it is inspiring me to make a change tomorrow. I am actually currently at a ballet school in New York trying to pursue in a career as a dancer, and I struggle with a lot of what you went through. It’s so nice to see that I am not alone! If there is any way I could email you to talk more about it that would be great, but if not I am going to just continue to search your wonderful blog. I am so glad I found it!
Thanks so much.
Mikayla
Hi Mikayla!
Thank you so much for your kind words. Good luck in pursing your dreams! So exciting.
I no longer post my email publicly. My desire to answer each email thoughtfully was taking time away from my precious family. I love helping people, but I was getting overwhelmed with the (very thoughtful) messages. I’d recommend signing up for my newsletter and joining the discussion on facebook. It’s a rich community with lots of great people and I find it easier to interact with many at the same time who are often dealing with similar challenges. Hope you understand! Best wishes!